New Voice Of Reason episode.....Independent Women with special guest....Elise Neal!!

Download here.

while doing a photoshoot for an office classified, I stumbled upon this article in a local Cebu newspaper on the floor. I knew there was something wrong with the peoples hero!

Jul 25, 2008

Deep Brain Stimulation For Depression

When I read that headline, I assumed meditation might be mentioned. But no, again, apparently only foreign objects can treat depression. Something about a drill, a brain, and some electrodes.

Try meditation. It can't hurt. It has no drug interactions. I've been trying it; if it helps me, I'll probably note it somewhere on this site. Thus far, it's been extremely helpful in dealing with some pain issues I've been experiencing for the last four years. The results from the meditation regarding the pain are very promising so far.

Surprise to me, writing like a madman has brought about tendinitis and nerve problems. Coupled with the writing, I've had a bit of a problem with computer and Internet addiction. Not something I'm proud of really, but why not mention it here, it seems like a good a place as any. The end result: too much computer time since I was 18 has caused problems for me. Not only have I been a writer, but also enjoy working with software and system administration, so basically, more typing.

Anyone who might be curious as to why addiction to the computer and Internet takes place, I say it's the high level of mental stimulation. Speaking for myself, there is really no other form of mental stimulation I can think of that matches what I feel and experience while using the computer. Also, I have far too much time on my hands.

Now that I've admitted I have a problem, I guess I can solve it. An alcoholic never takes another drink. That's a socially acceptable solution for alcoholism. A friend of mine recently told me that I shouldn't cancel my Internet, I should practice more self-control. I have however, canceled my Internet 3 times in the past two years, and have been much more productive without it. I've also read some books and magazines, but that activity I include as being productive. One of the times I canceled my Internet access I did without it for about eight or nine months. Currently I employ advanced dial-up technology and connect at 5 kilobytes per second. Astounding as that speed may be, it creates my incentive to stay offline and do other things which are dictated by reality.

And because I'm currently in pain, I'm going to skip the trivial part of the writing process known as editing and proof-reading. If it seems I disappear for a while, expect me to show up again, like a Jack in the Box. Also, when someone leaves a comment, I may reply soon, later, or never.

Getting back to meditation for a moment, here are a couple headlines I found amusing, being adjacent to one another and from the same news outlet.

1) Meditation slows AIDS progression: study

2) Drugs add 13 years to life of HIV patients - Reuters

Somewhere in the world right now there is a conflict of interest and a purple face. (And note carefully that the first headline includes the word meditation, not medication.)

Thank you to zania for making me write this post, although she never told me to, or even read it before now.

Nadhi: How is everybody doing!?

Brother Hasnaad: I am doing very good today. It is fantastic day for government and peoples of Pakistan, let me tell you.

Luddee: Oh, what fantastic story do you have to tell us now?

Brother Hasnaad: Well bajis, what do you know about justice in Pakistan? If so, tell me also!

Luddee: Nothing. Have you heard of it Nadhi? If so, tell me also!

Nadhi: Oh very funny! But I have to admit it's pretty bad here.

Brother Hasnaad: But that is why I am feeling happy! You know the government department called National Accountability Bureau?

Luddee: You mean the department they made to get rid of corruption?

Nadhi: Hay Allah did they finally convict someone? Itnee guts hain!?

Brother Hasnaad: No it is better; they carried out justice on a corrupt one! They captured and punished him!

Nadhi: Masha'allah! Things are finally changing in Pakistan. I knew democracy would work here. See, see Luddee!? I told youuuuu!

Luddee: Hold your horses Nadhi. He said they didn't convict him, but captured and punished him. What happened to due process of the law?

Brother Hasnaad: Baji baji baji, debate detail delay!

Luddee: Argue the details later, you mean?

Brother Hasnaad: Yes. Because they captured big corrupt man and they punished him severely, but Supreme Court judge condemned the NAB peoples.

Nadhi: What! Why!?

Luddee: Aha! You and your crappy countrty! I told youuuuuu!

Brother Hasnaad: But he was corrupt!

Nadhi: Hay mayray khudaya! I agree with Brother Hasnaad on this point. People are so corrupt here. Maybe a little harshness is needed. This will put fear in the corrupt officials' minds.

Brother Hasnaad: Yes! Now you are getting it, Nadho baji! In the interest of justice, the National Accountability Bureau agents gave him a beating without waiting for warrant. First world country like USA does it, Luddee baji!

Luddee: We never do that here!

Nadhi: Yes you do! The attack on Iraq was unwarranted!

Luddee: That's not the same thing as "withouth a warrant"!!! Oh nevermind. Back to the story: why did the highest court in the land get directly involved over that?

Brother Hasnaad: Because he was beaten in the best place for giving justice to miscreants in our society.

Nadhi: Where?

Brother Hasnaad: In the Supreme Court of Pakistan itself!

As usual, Hollywood's interpretation on the Oriental is more often disappointing than satisfying. No help that I'm a history buff (with deep knowledge in Chinese history). Why so? Well let me explain...

Lacklustre (or simply just plain silly) character names

Po: The lead character, the fat panda. He is the heir of his father's noodle shop and kung fu lover. I suppose it's the Cantonese translation of the word "precious". Frankly a lot of Americans have mistaken Cantonese to be mandarin. Not exactly their fault since a lot of Chinese that emigrated to US were Cantonese. Or maybe the namesake of this character is of this "classic" television show, The Teletubbies...

Shifu: Fat panda's martial arts master. A red panda, small dwarfy,cutsy character with the classic "Fu Manchu" moustache. So all powerful martial arts exponents need the power moustache? He is prejudiced against Po because of he thinks Po is unworthy to be the dragon warrior. 

Tigress: Sassy warrior, best disciple of Shifu apart from his ex-disciple. Arrogant, self-righteous, yearns to be the pride of Shifu. She lives under the shadow of her senior, Tai Lung.

Monkey: Looks like a baboon. Loves his biscuits so much that he hides them in a special corner in the kitchen. His character is similar to Tigress, but his love for food led him to embrass Po. 

Snake: It's a she... I think it's hard to draw a snake. Not a very 3-dimensional character. But she's one of the first to embrace Po.

Crane: Self-righteous fellow again. He tries to act nice to Po, but breaks down anyway as he couldn't stand Po's klutziness. 

Master Wu Guei:

Autor: Suzuki Tsuta

Genre: Comedy, Slice of Life, Yaoi

Misaki is suddenly having some unexpected and odd problems. What started as a need for some college entrance exam tutoring has somehow led him to being romanced by a suave older man who also happens to be his big brother's best friend. Confused by all of his brand new emotions, Misaki struggles to deal with his suddenly very odd life. And if that wasn't enough, his suitor, Usami, has plenty of issues of his own. A man-child who decorates his room in giant teddy bears and toys, Usami is a famous novelist who also writes steamy boys love novels on the side. When Misaki cracks open one of these books and reads sentences like "Misaki licks every inch of Usami's hot body"...well, let's just say that all hell breaks loose. And if one couple isn't enough for you, Junjo Romantica focuses on three different sets of lovers, each with their own compelling stories.

Sendspace

Autor: Suzuki Tsuta

Genre: Comedy, Slice of Life, Yaoi

Set of stories portraying friendship and love between men

Megaupload

Lei Seca

Com essa Nova Lei Seca....

Talvez não seria tão ruim assim... Hehehehe

Clique na imagem para ampliá-la

Any Indy fan has to check out his posting of the 1982 Indianapolis 500 ABC telecast. I just clicked on "1982 Indy 500 - The Start, crash" start to watch the stupid, stupid Kevin Cogan-induced starting line crash...but the clip begins with the starting line-up. It's hilarious! I must blog it. Here's the clip:

Thoughts after the jump...

0:03 - The graphics! The music! This is obviously from the part of the 1970s that bled over into the early 1980s. Awesome. Makes me want to go rent The Last Days of Disco. Mmmm...Chloe Sevigny...wait, I digress...

0:41 - Did anyone ever figure out why Johncock and Mario had different shades of blue on their STP cars? I know about the whole Johncock blue vs. Petty Blue argument...maybe it was just to make the cars easier to tell apart.

0:48 - You think that the Whittingtons were running unsponsored cars and qualifying well might have gotten someone to ask questions about where they were getting the money to do that? Call me crazy...

0:53 - Tom Sneva + pornstache = pure comedy gold.

1:14 - Pancho Carter's afro - even more comedy!

1:19 - I can't even think of a good comment for the look Chip Ganassi's sporting. I'm laughing too hard.

2:13 - You'd think Geoff Brabham could've gotten a hat that fit...

2:15 - Dennis Firestone also went on to a great career in the porn industry after his racing career ended.

3:18 - Wow. That was intense. I might have to take a break before the crash.

OK. Ready.

7:30-ish. Wow. I loved Mario's and A.J.'s reactions. Classic. They were cut from different cloth back then.

Anyway - let's hope this weekend's start at the Brickyard is incident free. Although I wouldn't mind a few real, uncensored comments from the drivers.

Why is America the way it is?

Why are so many people so fucking stupid?

Why do "credentials" out-weight hard work, or actual intelligence?

Why does it cost a fucking fortune to get any sort of education past your local community college? France educates their peers for free. Isn't America the most powerful nation on the planet? Couldn't we afford to educate the masses, which in turn would make more jobs. You know, the kind of thing which sparks a limping economy, you bunch of galloping buttcakes? Oh, I forgot, FOX say's France is a bunch of cowards because they don't support our pointless war. We're not supposed to like France. Fuck you France! Back to the 300 dollar economic stimulus package. How pathetic.

Why does pitiful social status mean anything, and why does how much money someone makes make a difference? Men settle for a woman based on looks alone, like fucking idiotic dogs and women settle for men with the nicest car and heaviest checking account, like pieces of gerbil feces.

Why do people accept what FOX and CNN feed them, knowing that half of the truth(or more) is shunned away? Why is there "Liberal" and "Conservative" networks? Why can't political journalists and reporters be unbiased? Why do they have to let their piece of shit emotions play a part in "honest" news relayed to the entire nation? You fucking yellow toenail clippings.

Barack Obama and John McCain are our choices after eight years of George W. Bush? Are you damn kidding me? We pick a War mongering bag of cat litter(McCain) in the midst of American's most pointless war, and a fiscally disastrous Liberal scumbag(Obama) in the midst of our worst recession America's seen since the Great Depression? Nice shit.

Why are so many people such serious "work horses" who mean nothing but business? Why don't you jackasses stop taking yourself so seriously, smile, and stop giving a flying piece of neck vomit what people think of you? Fuck your image, nobody really cares pissfoot. Maybe try enjoying your family for once? How about that, fuck needle? Anyone who puffs their chest out and gets a twinkle in their eyes when they talk about their employment needs to have a fucking drink.

I'm tired of materialistic people, completely. I'm tired of hearing these jackass rappers talk about how big their rims are, or how expensive their pendant was. Whoever gives a shit about that kind of nonsense should just do the history of man-kind a favor and off themselves, FAST.

I'm tired of drug dealers being glorified and the blue collar construction worker or truck driver getting looked at as a piece of forgettable dog shit drying in the corner of some random veterinarian boarding kennel.

I'm tired of celebrities being put on some kind of god-like pedestal. They're just fucking people, you bunch of tiresome aluminum cans full of Burger King vat grease. Why are grown men begging for baseball player's autographs, like giddy little children? How pathetic. Why do women put famous men as their laptop screen shots, then cry like little babies when they see these people in person? Why don't you bunch of shallow pieces of leprosy flakes dig a little bit deeper than that? Keep putting posters on your wall and keep masturbating about these people who wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, you nonsensical bunch of intellectual slackers.

I'm weird because I read and because I don't like to go out every Saturday night with a circle of people who talk shit about each other, as soon as one gets up to go to the fucking bathroom. I hate the norm. People think I think the world is against me, or that I'm angry. You're wrong, bitch clappers, because I find humor in this pathetic bullshit. And I don't think the world is against me. I think that the world is a big, humorous stage, and the biggest piece of shit stage is America.

As a side note, I'm not a Liberal, I'm not anti-America and I'm as far from a hippie as you can get. I'm proud of the Libertarian/Conservative Republic, NOT democracy, that was founded by our founding father's. They had great ideas and great values. It's these post-Reagan pieces of elitist, globalist sheep piss that have destroyed whatever is left of our original values and sovereignty.

No, I'm not a fucking conspiracy theorist because I realize that our government, and many governments around the world lie to us. Or because I don't like the way things are going lately. Everyone who questions the neo-conservative bullshit movement at this point is labeled a kooky conspiracy theorist. How pathetic.

I'm so fucking sick and tired of getting called a "hater" every time I don't like a good-looking male celebrity. If I don't like someone, it has nothing to do with their looks or the amount of green pieces of monopoly paper they have access to in America's fucked-over, butt fucked banking systems. You calling me a hater just shows how much of a shallow piece of shit you actually are.

Why do guido's exist? Jesus, you motherfuckers are worse than wiggers and emo's. Yeah, real manly men you are. Continue to wax your asses, pluck your eyebrows, sit in tanning beds and wear overly-tight clothes, you bunch of careening closet homosexuals. And fuck you for ruining spiked hair. I used to wear spiked hair until you pieces of cat shit came along.

Facebook and Myspace both suck.

Fuck off, fuck off very much.

Indeed compotation in aid of a galactic modernize. Lots over against get done, as well let’s remove they turn aside provocation.

Air-condition Dope

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Electronic communication Racer

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Histrion UPDATES

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Skin flick

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- DK

Production Status: In Production/Awaiting Release

Genres: Comedy

Release Date: July 25th, 2008 (wide)

MPAA Rating: R for crude and sexual content, and pervasive language.

Distributors: Sony Pictures Releasing

Production Co.: Apatow Productions, Mosaic Media Group

Studios: Columbia TriStar Motion Picture Group

Filming Locations: Los Angeles, California USA

Produced in: United States

For me, Mystery Men is one of those movies.

I remember seeing Mystery Men when it first hit DVD and really enjoying it.  I thought it was pretty funny at the time.  Now, not so much.

The premise is a little funny; inept, lesser "superheroes" have to ride in and save the day after the city's internationally known superhero goes missing.

I Netflixed this for a bit of familiarity before I start on this epic series of Reader's Choice and now I feel...disappointed.   What should've been a nice palate cleanser turned out to suck.   It's not that Mystery Men can't be funny; rather, Mystery Men takes a handful of funny jokes and throwaways and runs them ragged making an entire movie out of them.   Too often the same bits are repeatedly continuously throughout the movie.

There's something exceptionally off about Janeane Garofalo and I can't figure out what it is.  I loved her in Wet, Hot American Summer but in this one I just found her to be the grown up version of Daria.   Ben Stiller and the rest of this crew (including Paul Reubens, Jesus) are completely unfunny.   The one saving grace is William H. Macy as the Shoveler, who plays his role pretty honestly and therefore carries scenes through rougher patches.

Dude, even flipping Geoffrey Rush is awful in this.   And it makes me cry sad tears that Eddie Izzard is in this (oh, Eddie, why?) as a disco-obsessed villain.   Greg Kinnear as Captain Amazing might have as well stuck a sign around his neck that said "DOING IT FOR THE PAYCHECK" because he obviously doesn't care much.   He just looks lazy throughout the entire thing.

And after wasting that time, I wish I had left Mystery Men back on the proverbial shelf, right where it belongs.

So what are your thoughts on one night stand is it yes or no ? I never said I recommend them, I was merely mentioning the fact that they were not for kids like you :-p Oh, I wasn't trying to be funny. Lately I've been delving into the

"Why-are-people-hard-wired-to-be-judgmental ?
How-do-people-think?
Is-it-determinism-or-uncertainty-principle?
When-is-my-vacation-coming?
What-would-I-give-her-for-080808?
Whos-bringing-sexy-back? "
realm.

I've been stretching my brain cells (albeit, not always succsessfully) to develop charecters (wtf i can't spell) that are unlike me but pretty cool like you sweet you complete me! . haha
Who would win manny pacquiao or manny villar ?
What is your favorite dinosaur?
Is it time to kill the dinosaur?

POST SCRIPT:
Sex is a union of two souls in search of bliss.

Moscas treinadas .... Putsss

This is already rather popular, and I'm sure most people who have even a slight sense of what's "going on" in the "internet world" would have already heard of this or seen some videos, but I want to plug Derrick Comedy. These guys, having started with no more than just some home quality equipment and great ideas, have become a hit comedy channel on youtube, and gained much popularity over the internet. I heard, but haven't followed up on researching, that the main guy (the black guy) made it on Mad TV. That's somethin' else, huh?

Here's their site.

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I've often been asked, "Hey Laurie, are you an Anglophile?"

"No" I reply. "I'm into guys!!!"

But be that as it may, that's NOT to say that I'm not at least a little fascinated by that which is this realm, this England.

So, while surfing the Intrawebs, I happened upon a compendium of insults that a literate Brit would likely lay on ya. About 95-percent of these fall on virgin ears. I know what a wanker is, but a snog??? At first, I thought I had a cup of it last Christmas, but alas...I DID NOT!!!!

These are cuss words; some indelicate verbiage (as my sainted Mum would say) and a few are just crazy ass words, those adorable people utter from time to time.

They are as follows:

• big jessie (someone who's a bit of a softie)
• daft (eccentric, crazy)
• div (idiot)
• dosser (someone who is lazy)
• gormless (lacking in intelligence, with vacant expression: "Don't just stand there looking gormless")
• minger (pronounced like "singer") (an unattractive person)
• munter (c.f. "minger")
• muppet (silly person)
• nutter (eccentric person)
• pillock (silly person)
• pleb (person of lower class, but typically used to mean someone without taste or refinement)
• plonker (silly person)
• prat (incompetent person)
• shite (jocular form of "shit")
• tosser (idiot)
• toss-pot (idiot)
• twonk (someone who's been a bit foolish; also "dozy twonk")
• wazzock (fool)

Some words that aren't insults, but sure as hell sound like they are:

• bumf (a pile of paper you get given when you go to conferences etc.; derived from "bum fodder")
• chuffed (pleased)
• faff (to dither, as in "I spent the day faffing around")
• guff (fart, to fart)
• hammered (very drunk)
• higgledy-piggledy (in disarray)
• jammy (lucky, e.g. "jammy git")
• kecks (trousers aka "pants" in the US, or underwear. "Drawers" in more urban areas like Scranton)
• knackered (tired out)
• knackers (testicles)
• knickers (panties)
• naff off (go away)
• minge (pronounced to rhyme with "whinge") (female genitals/pubic hair)
• pissing down (raining heavily, "It's pissing it down out there!")
• punnet (basket for fruit, typically for strawberries)
• rat-arsed (extremely drunk)
• ropey (of poor quality)
• shandy (lager or beer mixed with lemonade)
• shattered (tired)
• skew-whiff (not straight, skewed, "That shelf is a bit skew-whiff")
• skive (to avoid or not attend, "He skived off school")
• slash (go to the toilet for a wee, as in "I need a slash")
• snog (to kiss amorously)
• strop (bad mood)
• take the piss (take advantage of someone, "They're taking the piss"; to make fun of someone, "I took the piss out of him")
• throw a wobbler (have a tantrum)
• wankered (extremely drunk)
• whinge (complain, often used to describe how children go on about things using a silly whiny voice)
• wonky (not straight, crooked, "That shelf is wonky", "That shelf is on the wonk")

.

And last but not least, we can't EVEN begin to discuss the many variations in the British lexicon without mentioning their keen sense of traditional and non-traditional cussing and swearing and what have you.

What you are about to view is not for the faint hearted. If vile and gratuitous vulgarity offends you, cease reading now.

But if you can handle the fact that Britain's Channel 4 asked several celebrities (even some Americans--and by the way, the cast of "Scrubs" could use a collective mouth washin') about their favorite cuss/swear words, then hit "play".

But before you click anything, please note that I'm not a cusser. In fact, I find swearing to be contemptible and loathsome. I'd be completely offended if I didn't find this exercise in cultural idioms so fucking interesting!

.

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Marcus finally got to do some impressions in the Hibachi section of the show, and Jeff Dye just ruined it. It made me laugh, actually, but the little people didn't seem to care too much for his irreverence.

Actually, everyone seemed to do alright in the Japanese restaurant warm-up challenge thing, and since it didn't seem to really matter to the outcome of the show, it was nice of the producers to skip over most of it and just show the funniest clips.

Then we arrive at the challenge that does matter: telling bedtime stories. I don't know whether to be happy or unhappy that every season they seem to end up doing less and less in the house and more and more at auditions and in the finals. They could have stretched this season out 3 more episodes by only eliminating one comic at a time. That being said, they seem to have eliminated the right people and those who remain I want to see perform on stage. It ends up okay.

Marcus did a great job, more impressions this episode; he was wrong about being the only one to do voices, though, Iliza also did some. He was one of the few who didn't seem to get nervous being around the girls next door. I also liked what I saw of Iliza and Jeff's stories. Marcus definitely deserved the immunity he got.

They really put the pressure on the comedians with this rule change. But it also means the comedians will be judged not only on their comedy, but on their personalities and their daring and their perserverance.

I guess I'm obligated to vote, since I'm so invested in the show as a self-styled LCS-blogger. I'll cast ten votes using nbc.com, and I'll tell you how I voted right now. My thinking on the various sets tonight, in order from worst to best in my humble opinion:

Adam Hunter - 1.877.386.6901 He started out very strong. The first two jokes, I laughed. The last joke was crude but it got me. In the middle there were a few smiles, but it wasn't overall what it needed to be to earn my vote. I'm also still angry at him for the vegetarian joke in auditions!
Sean Cullen - 1.877.386.6903 "Thank you humans!"? Is he channeling the Interloper from the first episode? The jokes fell flat. The song was good, but it wasn't as good as the one he did in Las Vegas, and it feels like he's channeling Jack Black who simply can't be beat for showmanship. I like Sean Cullen a lot, but this performance didn't get me there.
Jeff Dye - 1.877.386.6905 I really like Jeff Dye, I think he's creative and pretty cool, but essentially he didn't tell enough jokes. He stretched out the first joke way too long and then all of them sort of ended up running together as if he ended up only telling one joke. I did like to see him get in a few Nintendo reference at the end. I'll toss him a vote for that.
Ron G - 1.877.386.6906 I didn't like Ron G in Vegas or in the auditions, but he has high energy, which I respect. His set about being single also happened to resonate with me at this point in my life. I laughed. I'm gonna toss him 2 votes.
Louis Ramey - 1.877.386.6907 Louis seems like one of the most experienced comics on the show. I thought his set was solid, good, I smiled, a few chuckles. I think he'll move on and so I'm not going to cast a vote for him.
Iliza Shlesinger - 1.877.386.6902 **** I wonder which of these were the new jokes. The whole thing was good, but the audience didn't seem to get into it until around the middle section. She ended very strong, which is what you need in a competition like this. She's also going to get sympathy votes because she is having to work a lot harder than the other comics, having been up 3 times already. 2 votes for her.
Jim Tavare - 1.877.386.6904 Jim Tavare brings out the bass! And he does the British humour so smoothly. I was grinning the whole time and there were a few laughs. Mostly grins though, the kind you end up with when you're watching Monty Python. I predicted he would win, and I'll stand by that judgment based on this performance tonight alone. He gets my remaining 5 votes (plus one phone vote just to see what it's like (Bill Bellamy yells in your ear, it's unpleasant)).

Let me know how you voted!

All my last comic standing posts.

eta: I just discovered why I can't seem to work modern technology and imbed a dang video here - apparently I've been trying to add stuff that's not on the WordPress approved list. UGH. One day...

I left the house driving my merry way to the train station to go into town and do tonights open mike at The Brainwash....

Drive out of driveway, check... pull out of subdivision, check.... drive down mountain and say sarcastically to self, "Cool view of the Pacific, it fucking sucks that I moved here.", check....  Apply brakes to stop as approaching bottom of mountain, OH SHIT HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

You got it no brakes, thank the frakin' creator (sorry Battlestar Galactica reference) I got a car with a manual transmission kids or it would a been a really squishy mess, 'Blood on the Highway' starring me would have been showing in drivers ed classes for years....  So, no yuck yucks tonight....  but I DO get to keep breathing for a bit longer so it's a wash I figure.

Got the car to the shop about 5pm PST where I had the front brakes done in April this year and we find that the rear brakes lost 2 bolts and the caliper is totally fried (left rear, for the really mechanically curious).... Luckily I am an anal retentive jerk, so I whipped out the receipt and warranty from when I had the BOTH rear brakes and calipers replace in April of 2007 via the local Goodyear/Gemini when I was still in Florida....  I knew the big move was close, even last year, so I got the work done at a national place with 24 month or 24,000 mile warranty,....  so we're safe on BOTH counts, less than 24 months since the work and a little under 20,000 miles since the work was done....

SO, guess who's calling Goodyear/Gemini's national warranty department between 6am and 6pm MST tomorrow????

If you guessed me YOUR RIGHT, but none the less I still wouldn't sign up for Jeopardy based on just that question.   I'll keep you appraised of the situation...

This cover called "A Promise" shows a nude guy who wants to be your friend. He even brought you a present, look! Will you play?

To appreciate the full impact of how crappy this album cover is, I propose the following mental exercise. You are buying the CD, or better still, the 12" vinyl version if it exists. The seller places it in a clear plastic bag. Now you are walking out of the store where you are seen with this album in clear view of everyone else in the shopping mall. You might even walk past a biker gang hanging out at the food court, all of whom notice your new album purchase. See the problem? The only way I would buy this album, if I really had to have my Xiu Xiu "fix", and if this were the last Xiu Xiu album on Earth, would be to mail away to whoever is selling this, and instruct them to mail it to me in a large manila-coloured envolope or cardboard envolope, so that the general public doesn't see the ugly cover. Also, I wouldn't play it on my first date.

This album (Music to Keep Your Hustband Happy) is one of a couple of albums I am aware of that was set up to encourage sex play among married couples.

There are some who guide you on "what women want" and the ones here are a guide on, presumably, what men want. I wouldn't see women buying this. Men would buy it for their wives. The covers must therefore attract the male customers.

Sometimes, however, the way to a man's heart is by tearing off his clothes. Early Hip-Hop artist Tony Tee offers us a show of his masculinity by showing himself as about to lift a barbell, which doesn't look an ounce over 40 pounds, in his 1988 album "Time to Get Physical".

The spandex chick on the cover, going by the body language of both involved parties doesn't look like she's propositioning him as much as she is threatening him. Maybe he didn't pay his share of the rent, or maybe he is hanging out too much in the gym. She is probably accepting sex favours as payment.

Now, there are of course some women who can't stand real men, so she will date a fake one -- one made of wood. And, she'll live in her own world where wooden people and trees talk. This is the world that Nashville-based Geradine Ragan and her "friend" Ricky (who looks like "Planet of the Apes Meets Evel Knievel") want you to get to know better.

I must say that the true essence of wooden puppets are greatly under-appreciated. They don't talk back, they don't verbally abuse you, they don't come home drunk, and they are neither too tired nor do they ever have headaches.

The back cover of the album makes a big deal of the devout Christianity of her and her husband. Her husband, a real person named Dave Ragan, shares his life with Geraldine and Ricky, surely making efforts toward a peaceful co-existence with this "other man".

Now, with Oscar Zamora and his little wooden "friend" Don Chema, I have the ability to engage in what has so far been my good track record at giving both sexes equal time. That is mostly due to luck, and the abundance of crappy album covers. This Latino ventriloquist is based in the Southwestern US, and seems to be famous more with Latinos than with anyone else.